Road Jes Traveled

What's Worth Finding I understand why we get stuck sometimes. Hearts are stubborn. They sink their hooks into bad habits that look like beautiful people and dreams. But look at how much we give of ourselves. Our most precious gifts handed over to another who may or may not value them as much as we do. Have you ever heard someone fall asleep? Or watched someone break down? There's so few people in this world with whom you can share breakfast at midnight, and who can forgive you completely. The people that get you to believe it's actually all worth it, and don't flinch when you look them in the eyes. They never waver, and make you feel comfortable in your own bed. So in a way, when you find them, you find yourself. And in a way, when you lose them, you lose yourself. But know this: You will always be too much for someone not enough for another. Somewhere out there is one who will bring pieces of you home.

Let Her Run #9 Somewhere between what she survived and who she was becoming was exactly where she was meant to be. She was beginning to love the journey and find comfort in the quietest corners of her wildest dreams. They say people don't change. Well, she wasn't always this way. Even if she didn't change the entire world, she would change her part of it. And she would affect those she shared it with. A butterfly whose wings have been touched can indeed still fly. Whether something was meant to be or meant to leave no longer mattered as so much. She would soak up the sun, kiss the breeze, and she would fly regardless. J. Raymond Swimsuit: c/o AMI Clubwear Pareo: Yireh Sunglasses: Quay Australia via Homecoming Honolulu Flash Tattoos Photography: Sarah Henry Location: Nanakuli Beach, Oahu, Hawaii

Disclaimer: This post's title isn't exactly the most relevant but I wanted so badly to use it. - - - So it's officially "fall" and in Hawaii that basically means it rains a little more than usual, it's windier, and MAYBE the temperature drops a degree or two. To battle the "I miss seasons" stage, I try to recreate fall moments. Cozy movie nights in with tasty treats and fall-scented candles is one of them. When I heard that Pitch Perfect 2 was finally out on Blu-Ray, I ran to Walmart to snag a copy, duh. Then I got really excited when I saw the combo pack that includes the soundtrack! And I don't know about you but I MUST have a snack while watching a movie. A local movie-snack favorite in Hawaii is hurricane popcorn. Hurricane popcorn is a mix of buttered popcorn, rice crackers (little crackers, kinda salty, and tastes like they're seasoned with soy sauce), and sprinkled with nori (seaweed, like the stuff you wrap around sushi).

A few weeks ago I had a string of bad days. I was sick. I was emotional. I was alone. It was the first time that I realized how alone I really am. And I'm not trying to get all depressing on you. I know that I have great friends and family (and readers!) who care. I know that I'm not alone in that sense. I mean physically. Literally. There were things that I had to do that week that seem so minuscule now but were huge daunting tasks to conquer then. But I did it. I survived. And I survived on my own! I'm learning (or trying) to appreciate and grow in these times of solitude. In previous moves, I spent so much energy resenting the fact that I had left my family and friends, my place of comfort. I don't want to waste another second doing that. And as I sit here, alone, writing at the beach, listening to the waves crash, I remember that this place, this crazy island that I live on, is truly magical. Yes, I would prefer to share my moments here with an awesome p

Most people that live away from "home" reach the peak of their homesickness during the holiday season. All of their family and friends are gathering in their hometown. They want to be there, surrounded by their loved ones and all of that holiday cheer stuff. I get that. But for me, I miss Texas the most in the springtime. The rodeos and music festivals. The patio weather, cook-offs, and crawfish boils. The bluebonnets and the quest to find the perfect spot for a picture. These are just some of the things that I crave when spring hits. These are just some of the things that I love about Texas.

It's been almost 3 months since my last post! So much has happened and I'm back to finally spill the beans.  I know that many of you have followed my story through losing my husband and losing Duke . I want to make sure to not only share my losses with you, but also my gains. Because the lows seem to be validated once you get to a high. And I want you all to know that it does get easier and it does get better. Hawaii has such a special place in my heart. It watched me grow into a woman, into a wife, into a mom to Duke. It has taught me about living simply, that there is more to life than work and earthly things. And it watched me fall down onto my knees in the midst of my toughest season thus far. So much has happened here. Yes, I said here. :) A few months ago I got a Facebook message that read "JT! Do you still want to come back? I'm hiring. The job is yours if you want it." The message came from a friend I had met at a conference in Maui in 20